2006
My name means " Sweet Dreams" khabeh Nooshin roughly translated from Prtsian. I guess that describes me and a little of my writes perfectly.I do get inspirations from a multitude of things ....a gentle rain , a thunderstorm , a solitary beach or a majestic mountain. I love the laughter of a child and the wisdom of an Elder. I dream , I fantasize , I can get lost in a fairytale or a legend. I bow to Mother Earth and Father Sky. I am in awe of the mysterious wolf and the elusive butterfly. , always see the Road Less travelled . I am not a conformist to the masses ..I love music , dance and yoga. My writes are as varied as my interests. Some are drawn from experiences , others are purely fictionnal and border on fairy tales. I am a dreamer that is well grounded in reality..producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions. جويدن آدامس وقتي داري پياز خورد ميکني باعث ميشه...اشکت در نياد...دفعه ديگه امتحان کن -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. plz be careful for my life's sake. بچه کوچولو ها تا شيش ماهگي در حين نفس کشيدن مي تونن يه چيزي رو هم ببلعند...جان من مواظب باش -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name. hey guys if you dont know a girl's name ...try this way.... نود و هفت درصد از مردم وقتي يه خودکار بهشون ميدي اولين چيزي که مينويسن اسمشونه.. قابل توجه اقايون اگه ميخوان اسم يه خانومو بدونن يه خودکار بدن دستش با يه کاغذ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite. پشه هاي نر گياهخوارن..فقط ماده ها نيش ميزنن -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5. The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle. متوسط ميدان ديد يک انسان در بر گيرنده زاويه اي 200 درجه از محيط مي باشد -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6. To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe. اگه ميخواين بدونين که يه هندوونه رسيده هست يا نه...يه ضربه کوچولو بزنين بهش ..اگه صداي پوک بودن داد يعني رسيده -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7. Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp. مردم کانادا نامه هاشونو با تمبر هاي شخصي و اختصاصي که عکس خودشون روشه پست ميکنن -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8. Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old. چشم بچه کوچولو ها از بدو تولد تا هفته ششم الي هشتم اشک توليد نميکنه -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9. It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979. برف در صحراي بزرگ افريقا در فوريه سال 1979 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10- plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than plans watered with cold water. گياهاني که با آب گرم آبياري ميشوند سريعتر و بيشتر از گياهاني که با آب سرد آبياري ميشوند رشد ميکنند -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. استفاده از هدفون به مدت تنها يک ساعت باعث رشد باکتري در گوش شما به ميزان 700 برابر قبل ميشود -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave. اگه انگور رو تو مايکروويو بزارين دونه هاش مي ترکه -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 13. Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes. نام ستاره و اشکال و رنگ هايي که وقتي چشمانتون رو ميماليد ..جلوي چشمتون ظاهر ميشن phosphenes هست -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 14. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. اندازه چشمان ما از بدو تولدديگر رشد نمي کند ولي بيني و گوش هايمان هميشه در حال رشد کردن است -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 15. Everyone's tongue print is different, like fingerprints. مدل و اشکال روي زبان هر شخص مانند اثر انگشت با بقيه آدم ها متفاوت است -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 16. Contrary to popular belief, a swallowed chewing gum doesn't stay in the gut. It will pass through the system and be excreted. برعکس باور عمومي مبني بر باقيماندن آدامس بلعيده شده در رود ه ها ... آدامس از بدن دفع ميشود -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 17. At 40 Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing. در دماي 40 درجه سانتي گراد ..بدن در زمان تنفس ساعتي 14.4 کالري مصرف مي کند -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 18. There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice; it is rebuilt every year. هتلي در سوئد وجود دارد که کاملا با يخ ساخته شده و هر سال تجديد بنا ميشود -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 19. Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that walk right foot, right foot, left foot, left foot, rather than right foot, left foot. گربه . شتر و زرافه ها تنها حيواناتي هستند که ريتم راه رفتن آن ها بر پايه دو بار پاي راست..سپس دو بار پاي چپ است.به جاي اين که يه بار پاي راست و يک بار پاي چپ باشند -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 20. Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal. پياز حتي اگر پس از يک غذاي پر چربي خورده شود..باعث کاهش کلسترول خون ميشود -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 21. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting. صدايي که شما در هنگام (رفع خستگي از انگشتانتون)از بند انگشتاتون ميشنويد..صداي ترکيدن حباب هاي گاز نيتروژن موجود در بند انگشتاتون است -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- REMEMBER... The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord, can stand up to anything. به ياد داشته باش کوتاهترين راه بين يک مسئله و راه حل اون...فاصله بين زانو هات تا زمين هست(سجده)...کسي که به خدا توکل کنه.. توان مقابله با هر مشکلي رو ميتونه داشته باشه Angels Do Exist... but, sometimes, they don't have wings, We call them Friends!. فرشتگان وجود دارند.. اما بعضي اوقات بال ندارن و ما به اونا ميگيم دوست!
Pretty .
But I need a proper camera/video recorder. The phone can't take decent footage. But first: to consider making a short film. In this I have nil confidence. I do hope I have some glimmers of talent in this arena: I'd like to take a good look at film at RISD, if I do get the chance.
On the other hand, the missing letter and yet-to-arrive package is freaking me out. Frankly, I am not ecstatic about my admission. Even progressing one stage further in Bomberman gave me more visceral pleasure. For this, only GG's proposed application to RISD offers some warmth to the revelation. As for the others---the prospect of studying in R.I, at Brown...it just fill sme with something akin to dread. Not that I don't relish going there. Tiz just the whole idea of going out there and meeting some tough foes and the challenge of college---a whole new frontier...Wwill I make the cut. There're gazillions of people who make it to some fine college before flunking to some other grad school. Nothing is given; nothing is granted. The road ahead is pretty scary.
+++
UPL stocks are still falling, falling, falling. What the hell is going on? There's been no negative news whatsoever. Tiz just plunging. The market is a wonderful thing.
One night I dreamt that I was in clouds
I was running in the sky
I bought two stars for one smile
In the house of the moon I saw the moonlight
As I was strolling along, I reached the sun
I saw the rain under the shadow of clouds
I went to the Milky Way, I saw everything
Yet I didn't see anything more beautiful than love
Through destiny's kindness I entered the heaven above
I asked, "Who was the one who molded us?"
And who wrote the story of us, mankind?
And showed us the good and the bad
As I sat with the people in heaven
I heard the stories of a thousand lives
Everyone mentioned that life flies by
Both its good days and its bad days
What a pity, like a dream, life flies by
The mirage of life ends while searching for water
I was running after my thoughts, until I woke up
I have brought news of all that I saw
I'll whisper in your ear all that I heard
So, here is my message to all lovers
Nobody has ever died from saying "I Love You".
>*•.¸¸.•*¸.•**•.¸¸.•**•.¸Ti amo¸.•*¸.•**•.¸¸.•*
S
+++
My admissions letter has vanished and has been replaced by one telling me to check back in April. This is getting surreal. I don't know when to tell them about my deferment and can't recall if I had informed them already.
HB has been admitted to Duke.
In rooza keh shahre eshgh
khali tarin shahre khodast
khanjare namardomi
hatta tu daste sayehast
wakhti keh atefaro mishe be asooni kharid
maniye kalame eshgh khali tar bade havast...
Amma man keh akharin asheghe donyam mahiye munde be khak o ahle daryam az hame donya baram ye cheshme munde cheshmeyi be gheymate hame nafasham Az hamine keh hame omramo madyune toam toi keh aziz tar az omre dobareyi baram bi niazi be tanet ghalam daram tanha lebase amma dastam be zarihe to dakhile eltemase.... Fasle gol sakhmiye daste adamak haye badan poshte pa be rasme bi bonyade in donya zadam - man baraye gom shodan az khoda ghalbe to shodam rahe doore eshghamo peymudam inja umadam Biniazi be tanet ghalam daram tanha lebase amma dastam be zarihe to dakhile eltemase..
wakhti keh atefaro mishe be asooni kharid
maniye kalame eshgh khali tar bade havast...
Amma man keh akharin asheghe donyam mahiye munde be khak o ahle daryam az hame donya baram ye cheshme munde cheshmeyi be gheymate hame nafasham Az hamine keh hame omramo madyune toam toi keh aziz tar az omre dobareyi baram bi niazi be tanet ghalam daram tanha lebase amma dastam be zarihe to dakhile eltemase.... Fasle gol sakhmiye daste adamak haye badan poshte pa be rasme bi bonyade in donya zadam - man baraye gom shodan az khoda ghalbe to shodam rahe doore eshghamo peymudam inja umadam Biniazi be tanet ghalam daram tanha lebase amma dastam be zarihe to dakhile eltemase..
من آن موجم که آرامش ندارم
به آسانی سر سازش ندارم
هميشه در گريز و در گذارم
نمی مانم به يکجا بی قرارم
سفر يعنی من و گستاخی من
هميشه رفتن و هرگز نماندن
هزاران ساحل و ناديده ديدن
به پرسش های بی پاسخ رسيدن
من از تبار دریا از نسل چشمه سارم
رها تر از رهایی حصار بی حصارم
ساحل حصار من نیست
پایان کار من نیست
همدرد و یار من نیست
کسی که یار من نیست در انتظار من نیست
صدای زنده بودن در خروشم
به صاحل چون می یایم خموشم
به هنگامی که دنیا فکر ما نیست
برای مرگ هم در خانه جا نیست
اگر خاموش بشینم روا نیست
دل از دریا بریدن کار ما نیست
من از تبار دریا از نسل چشمه سارم
رها تر از رهایی حصار بی حصارم.. ایرانیسم هماهنگی و یکپارچگی همه تیره های ایرانی است
Nooshin
My heart cannot comprehend where I am Or where I think I am I ask to myself and then the answer comes so clear Struggle. The shining stars remind me of the rain that doesn't fall Like the stars I watch the tiniest particle of our home without doors where the wind trespasses our soul and tries to take it away with it. What sort of home did we built? sacred blood? sacred hate? How could this be? Looking down, forgetting the stars, there is a big well where the eyes are searching for what is pure to feed the empty souls to then make it disappear again being hungrier thirst that never ends. I long for my heart then but not alone I hear the murmurs weeping and flowing upwards melting with the moon melting with the stars Again the hearts convey to talk and see what others don't want to let us see The Immensity of Love that we could give to stop the imbalance of our precious nature taken away, so far.... that at times we feel we are gone forever from it. Our hands can stop a grenade to fall down but our Love can stop the well to continue pulling us down ...
I guess this is the real one. Am I happy? O sure thing! But not overjoyed or ecstatic---yet. That'll settle in later. I've done it! Woop!
Damn. Why am I so calm? Tiz almost as if tiz not the best news in the world for me. Is it? The President Scholar is there after all and Brown is an Ivy college. Yap. I ought to be glad. Yessir. Time for new plans. A new year.
Now for the actual physical letter to arrive. Only told GG and fai about it; perhaps too rash.
To be perfectly, offensively honest, the first name that bobbed up my head when Lilya appeared was Judith H. Don't ask why. I just thought they looked alike.
@ 4:51 PM
I've never seen so much blood on screen before. Quentin Tarantino has created cienmatic history in the House of Blue Leaves. Blood, blood everywhere: its raining blood.See, there's no one around. Tiz fun this way. Edmund and I watched Kill Bill Vol.1 in Dy's room. Why take leave today?
The building looks like a tower right out of The Matrix: one of those anonymous monoliths concealing some dark secrets in tiz anonymous floorplans.
I wish I have the money and the resources to help people like Lilya.
LTA had earmarked this site for tiz new HQ a few years back. A furore over the proposed cost of this new buidling shelved the plan, leaving LTA with HQs scattered across the sialdn. Not a bad way of doing things. There's one near Little India. Before the area got bulldozed and peppered with high rises and dingy-looking lower buildings, the expanse had been a field criss-crossd by footpaths and a view of HDBs in the distance. A very Singapore-ish place, neither citycentre nor the heartlands. I had crawled there during a suicidal spell last year and hid in the MRT station, sighing and grinding my way to sanity.
The Buona Vista site lay bare, though. A shame. I had mused about the spatial possibilites of the site before, coming up with a rough idea of multi-colored blocks the first time round. Now I looked upon the site and carved it up with diagonals and new axis. I suppose we can stick to the original idea of having the building straddle the canal and indeed, dip parts of it, the lobby perhaps, low into the canal. Fine tension, if the waterworks people allow. Make the floor transparent or at least translucent. I propose we erect a plane across teh site, aligned to one street, a flat surface as a stage. The prople can then head down this plane, across the canal and to the other end of the site. Whatever building is required can be built atop this public crossing. And the existing trees are a useful decoration and guidepost, pointing out the way across the canal.
So pages upon pages of drafts and re-writes flutter about. Paragraph 2 was spilling out of its ordained limits. At 217 words at counting, it was way too long. The stipulated word limit clocked 500, max. I have to cut it.
But after Lilya 4-Ever and I got wrapped in that warp of depression, the urge to write ebbed abruptedly and I was plunged into a heavy dose of psychic-widdling, whereby nothing seesm to be worth doing. Lylia (Lilya?) preaches the value of life; we ought to appreciate that. Come to think of it, we're awfully fortunate to be where we are. Not in some bombed out hellhole where everyone's mean because there's nothing better to do but here, in Singapore, good ol' Singapore. But it is only through desire for something even better that we move on.
Coming back to the essay, I doubt I can actually make it to Brown ED. The results are out 3 days ago but I can't access the site. Plain bad luck or have they shut down my account altogether. I'm prepared for the worst. In my life, I'd probbaly wind up as a manager in some company if I'm not careful---my mother wants me to do that anyhow. That'd be a waste of this life.
This world sucks. Sometimes the people and the things they do can be thoroughly fucked up, as Lylia shows. Tears are still in their ducts; Grave of the Fireflies is the only film that made me shed genuine tears. Lylia shocks, Lylia traumatizes. I'll be fucked if Brown rejects me outright. But I won't be too surprised. I'm reading 1599: A year in the life of William Shakespeare. I'm no fan of literature. Make no mistake: I love reading but tiz the analysis, the guesswork, the sheer irrelevance of trying to fathom just what the writer is thinking (as if it matters) that robs reading of its enjoyment and makes it a hypocratic exercise; I hate that.
Sheesh. Lylia 4-Ever. May she, and others like her, live forever.
I'm depressed. Not that awful blackhole of self-doubt and ego-sapping portents of doom that had so plagued me last year. This one is more subtle; the sadness is undertone. Lilya 4-Ever is the most depressing film I've watched. It doesn't drive me to tears---I'm too cynical for that---though for a prolonged and surreal moment, I did wonder if my mother had to go through similar hardships before (I know not). I left the cinema in a torpid daze, and the gnawing depression clawed at me soon after.
The theatre was 1/2 full, surprisingly. On a day when King Kong had been packed til 4:30, around 20 people popped by to catch Lilya 4-Ever. The story is quite simple. Lilya is a 16 year old girl in a decrepit former Soviet republic, living in a dingy apartment surrounded by gray wastelands. Her ex-whore mother moves to the 'States' with her new burly Russian boyfriend (He's hardly a boy), thus leaving Lilya behind. Lilya's best friend is this kid called Voldoya, with chubby cheeks and a madman father who whacks him so much he stays over at Lilya's place. So its a lousy, dirty, poverty-stricken world they live in, a place where 'EU' is just a foreign word and Europe is far, far away. Like Lilya said, 'Its full of shit. There's nothing to do here'.
Lilya then gets whisked off to Sweden by this suave talking S.N.A.G, who appears to be a very gentlemanly guy. He promises her a new life in that properous Eurporean state. She leaves, promising Voldoya that she would come back for him later (in a scene ironically reminiscent of her mother's abandoning of her at the start). The poor kid, without a friend and hope, overdoses himself with pills and appears later on as an angel to guide Lilya.
Lilya 4-Ever is about human trafficing so you know what happens next. The S.N.A.G is a cog in the trafficing machine and when Lilya lands in this wet, gray city in Sweden, she finds herself promptly locked up in a dingy apartment and ordered to 'start work on Monday' by a thug who rapes her the next morning. So she spirals to ruination. Here, the camera work gets interesting: we see the heaving, grunting brutes from her point of view, which strips all the scenes of any erotic-ness and leaves the audience quite disgusted. I swear I will never, ever pay for sex nor have sex (even consensual) with an udneraged girl. It is just WRONG. I don't claim any moral superiority because I know for a fact that I am capable of certain depravities. But there are some things that cannot be justified. Lolita is a different matter, of course---but that's all fiction.
I can't pin-point what exactly got me so depressed. Lilya 4-Ever is a sad film, no doubt; all the reviews are carmmed with words like 'harrowing' and 'heartbreaking'. Cynical Sierra points out that Lilya chartered her own path towards ruin: She could have stayed in school. She could have just been a hardworking student. She could have not smoked. She's a mean brat. She could have...the list goes on. In the end, as she stood over the bridge, she could have opted to survive. But she chose to jump. I think she had it coming....in a sense because she, well, wasn't the sweet and innocent teen we'd like to believe, the perfect victim.
Hell, she's imperfect. We all are. We make mistakes; she does.
I feel better now. Its a lovely film. I like it very much. The score, though, was a bit awkward at times. I figured trance would make a pretty good score but constant blasts of hardcore trance can be a nuiscance at times. They sure didn't make the film lyrical...a reviewer, the only one in the world who hated the film, gave it 1 star out of 10 and lambasted the film makers for turning an issue of such gravity and tragedy into a hackneyed and trite tale that's full of cliches. Too harsh by half, I reckon, though he had a point about the dog scene. Yet our lives are full of cliches too. One just wants to tear apart a photo of a hated one...is that action entirely conscious and of free-will i.e. no external influence compelled you to do so. But we tear because we find it apt to do so, because the situation demands it. Whether of not this compulsion is due to cliches we are familair with or is a purely natural reaction on which the cliche is based on is another question. Our thoughts, views and actions, even the most private ones, are shaped by such cliches and streotypes. They're all over the miasma around us; tiz not even original. So when Lilya tears and later burns that photo, tiz an act that's very natural and hardly a hackneyed narrative device. Put me in her shoes and I'll tear it up too.
A debate on God and his associated effects rages between The Grand Survivor and Kelvin, Chong and Co.
What happens to those who've never heard of God and hsi brand of religion? Is their ignorance punishable? God's PR machine is in serious need of upgrades.
Are we monkeys?
Death and sex: the great inspirations of my kind.
Another day of absolute atrophy. The Grand Survivor is hard at work on another academic pursuit, the re-memorization of Chinese idioms, vowels and phrases. David Cronenburg and his films are my current faze, along with the gory HK film of 1993, based on a true story, Untold Story, starring Anthony Wang. A butcher cum kitchen assistant slaughters his employer's family in a graphic show of blood and gore before chopping the cadavers up to make char siu paos. The horror is surreal yet strangely...well, real
Yet James Caemron has decided to adapt a manga by the name of Battle Angel, sporting a cyborg heroine called Alita, as the first ever anime-to-hollywood feature. Bets had been on Last Exile, replete with Caucasian-looking characters and decidedly European settings. Well, Evangelion is still on my kind. Scriptwriting is far from a breeze. It oscillates between camp and drama. Maintaining a fine balance is hard.
Mid December beckons. I don't feel one flutter; it beats straight. I suppose its a premonition of more halcyon depressions to come.
@ 3:25 PM
GG is applying to RISD.How do I get rid of that annoying inverted comma before the time....
I'm bored to pieces. I've just changed my blogskin; about time too. My mind is in full atrophy mode. The gray cells are turning purple. The end is nigh. Societies are destned to be divided into different stratas; that's a fact of life. The higher echleon goads the lower layers to aspire and join them. The bastards are your goal and you yearn to join the snobs. Weird how in the 1700s, such things as dionysian architecture are making learned men confused over the metaphysical; as if a new approach of reason, of scientific method and discovery, each important word capitalized at the start....was a feat of the occult, of providence and heralding a new age, one of fresh wonders that promises/threaten a new System of the World. Ditto for the newfound financial network that was just about to spread tiz fingers over the world. Ditto, too, for the bizzaire talk in From Hell about geography, architecture and powers beyond mere brick and mortar: divine alignments, unholy evil and the criss-cross of fates in blood etc. I still think in terms of great lolling buildings faraway on empty plazas under the armada sky.
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Name - Nooshin -♥نوشین ♥-
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